Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
