hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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