Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
