I cockslap morals
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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