I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
