Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She told me I should be a condom model.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
