Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
