You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
