dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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