I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
