you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
