its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
