it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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