3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
