I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
