Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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