We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
