I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
