Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
