oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
