So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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