ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
