Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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