Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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