I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
