shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
