I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
