I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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