Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
