would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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