imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
