when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My dick has a subreddit
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
