I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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