why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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