wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
