probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
