you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
