he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
