so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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