Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
