4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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