kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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