And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
