I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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