They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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