spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My ATM looks so different sober.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
