It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Damn victory sex feels great
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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