Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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