My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
