Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
