As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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