He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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