I got chris browned last night
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
