somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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